FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
