I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
