so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
