That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize