you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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