my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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