There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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