When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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