How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
