Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
two words...techno handjob
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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