elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize