Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize