Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
