I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
it's like iHOP with fire
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
