He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
