The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
