I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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