A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
