I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
