Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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