I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
