Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
