We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
