i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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