I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
