i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
