you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
