turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
