thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize