We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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