I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
