Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
