I like my sex mixed with concussions.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
