Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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