It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
