i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
