You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
another moral hangover. fuck.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
