its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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