when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I am available for nakedness
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
