Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
