EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
