its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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