My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
