U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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