I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize