at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize