Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
