I take back everything I said about communal showers
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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