It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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