The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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