Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
