She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
