I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize