So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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