"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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