and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
