I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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