I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
