dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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