I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
