xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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