I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
