i was rollin on her like bob the builder
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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