sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So squirting runs in the family.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
