You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
