Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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