I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
