If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
