BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
