The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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