its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
